Reuben Abati: Ambode and di strit tredas we de fo Lagos

A de rait dis atikul afta a don yan wit meni strit hokas and tredas fo Lagos we i bi laik se dem no nou ou dem no jos send se Govano Akinwumi Ambode tok fo televishon se Lagos Stet govament go bigin aplai di law we ban to sel maket fo rod.

Di law we a de tok na Lagos State Street Trading and Illegal Market Prohibition Law, 2003 and i get ponishment we bi  N90, 000 ou to go prizin fo siks monts fo di pesin we bai and di pesin we sel maket fo rod.

Na im a ask di vendo we de push niuzpepa fo mai fes, sotey a no fit rid di hedlains fo fri.

Mai frend, u nou se yu de du ilegal tin? Yu neva hie se Govano Ambode don ban strit tredin?"

“Dat won no konsan vendo o. Na dis oda pipul we de sel chingom  and wota dem de tok abaut.”

“No. Strit tredin na strit tredin. Yu de hok yo niuzpepa. Wai yu no wn get shop ou stand? "

“Mek a opun shop to sel niuzpepa? Na for insaid trafik pipul de bai niuzpepa oga."

"A jos hop se dem no go arest yu. Di fain na N90, 000 ou 6 monts insaid prizin.”

“Oga, yu wn bai pepa? Kwich won yu wn bai? A beg. Si, di tin bi se, fo dis Naija, enitaim we enibodi rich pawa, dem go jos de du wetin dem laik. Dem no de piti wi poor pipul at ol.”

A laf kari go .
“Wota! Wota!”, a hala fo won yong man we kari drink fo smol basket. Im ron kom mai moto from di oda said of di rod, kom doj won Keke Napep as im niali jam okada.

“How much?”
“N100”
"A fit bai? Bikos a hie se govano say mek dem arest enibodi we hok enitin fo Lagos. Na Agidingbi bi dis o. I tu nia Alausa abeg.

“Oga bai wetin yu wn bai. If wi no sel wota fo trafik, yu sabi hau meni pipul go don dai fo insaid go-slo? Wen trafik stat nau, ivun Ambode go bai wota fo  insaid trafik drink.”
“Oya, bring am shap shap. No let doz LASTMA pipul si yu.”
“Kwich LASTMA pipul? Oga, relaks. Na wi-wi. As wi de dis strit so, nobodi fit rimuv os“

As a de listin to am de tok abaut strit laif, a kom hie bel de ring. Na sombodi we kari smol kula fo di front of im baisikul. Fan Ice! Fan Milk! Won yong girl pass, wit tray of granot fo hed . Eli monin trafik don de plenti, 24 awas afta Ambode bin hala, du gra gra fo TV abaut strit hokin.

Won tu, a kom rimemba  Olajumoke Orisaguna, di Naija Cinderella, we mek am from strit hokin to di runway. A kom se mek a ask won of di hokas dem.
“Yu sabi Olajumoke?”
“Olajumoke, oni bread. Oga yu sef, e ti jasi. Don Jazzy, Baba. If Olajumoke no sel bread fo strit, how dem fo diskova se shi get talent. Oga, as yu si mi so, a bi student fo Polytechnic o. Di moni we a de mek fo strit, na im a de yuz menten maisef. Won de if a bikom govano fo dis kontri, a go rimemba and a no go ban strit tredas."

Dat won rili toch mai maind. I mek sens to ondastand wetin de fo strit tredin. Dat na hau meni pipul wit smol moni and smol edukeshon de get chop moni. Fo oda kontri dem we dem arenj tins wel, na dia meni pipul we no de du govament wok de get dia oun moni. Fo di pipul we de bai from strit tredas we dem kom join fo di sem ofens, strit tredin de help dem bai tins we dem nid. If yu de insaid hevi trafik we bi se yu fit ste dia fo plenti awas, i de mek sens se yu jos opun yo windo kom si tins we yu nid laik
fish, fraid mit and shrimp, lof of bred, biscuits, gala, mit pai, wota, beer and difrent taip of minaral. If na wen rain de fol and yu nid to kom daun from yo moto, yu fit si ombrela fo go slo bai. Yu fit olso get hot milk, tea ou coffee, ou ivun shain yo shu.

If heat de and wota de hongri yu, yu fit bai veri kul Fan Milk ou eni oda drink to kul yo bodi. Pop-corn, rosted corn, walnuts, evritin de fo rodsaid as trafik de waka smol smol. If yu get problem wit yo fon, ou yo wrist-watch, or ivun yo klot, yu fit bai niu won fo strit. Buk, muzik CD, elektroniks, ivun sex toi, and manpawa de. Trafik and strit tredin get speshal konekshon.

Bot wahala olso de fo evribodi fo strit tredin. Fo di baia, yu fit bai somtin we dem tif ou somtin we fit giv yu wahala. Dem fit tif yo moni - olwes kolekt yo kaya and yo chenj bifo yu giv dem moni.

Di pipul we de sel get dia oun wahala, laik injuri and rape, task fos wahala, weda problem and kompetishon fo spes.

Pipul de sel fo strit bikos dem no get moni to rent shop ou biuld dia oun and enihau, govament sef join fo di problem.

Govament de tek ova maket se dem go biuld beta won bot afta dem finish, dem go put moni we pipul no go fit pe. Na so di poor tredas go enta rod de hok dia maket. Na wetin hapun fo Tejuosho and oda maket fo Naija bi dat.

If strit tredas get chois, dem go get dia oun pamanent ples wia dem go de sho dia maket. If dem fit help am, dem go laik to sidon insaid airkondishon moto. Trafik and strit tredin na pat of laif fo Lagos and oda citi dem and na dem de help sho hau levuls bi fo eni citi.

Govament pipul tu de si strit laik wia tif dem, agbero, wayo pipul and oda bad pipul de ste. Na wetin Govano Ambode of Lagos stet du bi dat.

Wetin mek Ambode go prich in samon fo televishon na di trobul we hapun bitwin task fos pipul and strit tredas fo Ojota and Maryland. Wi hie se Kick Against Indiscipline, KAI ofishals bin poshu won hoka sotey im ron go jam BRT moto we tia im bele komot di intestines autsaid.
Dis tin vex pipul sotey dem damej 49 BRT moto we Ambode say im go fiks wit N139m. Ambode de tok laik se di moto pas di laif of Nnamdi di hoka we KAI poshu til im go dai. Haba govano. Na yu de tok laik dis?

Mek a rimaind di govano se KAI and LASTMA pipul tu de ova du. Se N139m go riples moto no min se im fit riples pesin laif we don los.

I hard to biliv se na bezd on investigeshon Ambode go dig won yeye law we don dai sins se im go yuz am poshu pipul. Eni we pipul de kari du yeye and govament no ivun fit aplai am, dat law don dai o.

To komot hokas fo strit, govament nid to provaid oda opochuniti fo dem. Dem sopoz to solv di problem of go slo and arenj beta mins of transpoteshon.

Shops sopoz de fo smol moni we pipul fit pe and maket go de fo beta ples we pipul go laik.

Na povati de mek pipul sel fo rod. Govament nid to adres di rizin we de poshu pipul from vilej kom taunship.

Lagos na wia i de hapun. Enibodi we vilej laif don taya, na Lagos bi im fest chois. If yu bai smol tray ou basket we yu go put guds we no pas N5000, yu go jos enta trafik de mek yo moni. To poshu dem na to rimuv dia onli chans to bikom sombodi.

Govament sopoz to konsida di law agen. Pipul we stil de skul ej no sopoz to de sel maket fo rod durin skul awas.

No mata wetin hapun, Ambode no sopoz to komot di laf we wi de get fo strit. Di strit na pat of wetin de mek laif swit fo Lagos.

A rimemba di yong, swit girls we de sel medisin and agbo fo strit fo Lagos. Ol of dem get di sem kwolifikeshon - dia front lamp de olwes luk op insaid man aiz.

Di girls de frendli and dem sabi giv man temteshon. Ivun if yu no wn bai enitin, dem no go liv yu elon.

“Oga, bai dis tablet nau. Ou test dis drink. Madam go tank yu fo am.”
“Madam? Shi no ivun sopoz nou se a tok wit yu!”
“Bot shi go tank yu, a swia”
“Yu don yuz am bifo?”
“Hen hen.”
“Okay. Bot bifo a bai enitin, a go  test am. And na mi and yu go test am. Enta moto, mek wi go.”
“Hen, go wia? Oga, go test am wit Madam fo haus.”
“No, a go test am wit yu fest. Fain girl, yu de fia?”

Di girl go jos laf ron.

Bai Reuben Abati

Steve Igbokwe translet am to Naija Languej